An essential part of coliving is living together. Colivers share common spaces: the kitchen, the living room, but also sometimes the garden, the gym, even a car. Some may just bump into each other, but most will want to get to know each other and share activities. To ensure that everyone feels at home and thrives in the community, certain rules need to be established to maintain harmony and a good atmosphere between the colivers.
Setting rules for life
“One person’s freedom ends where another’s ends”, as the saying goes. Singing at the top of your voice in the living room at 3 a.m., leaving dishes lying around in the kitchen, inviting friends over and monopolizing the TV every evening are all attitudes that can quickly exasperate the other colivers. To avoid having to deal with this kind of behavior, it’s best to avoid it in advance by setting precise ground rules. Each community will adapt its rules to its own situation, but the following elements will generally be found:
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Tidy up and clean up afterwards
When eating in a communal area, it’s important to clean and tidy your belongings so that the person coming after you doesn’t feel assaulted by dirty dishes, for example. Similarly, don’t leave your clothes or personal belongings lying around in the living room. Even if a cleaner comes regularly to maintain the common areas, it’s not up to him or her to tidy up for you.
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Respect the calm
During the day, avoid telephone calls or video-conferences in the lounge when there are several of you in the space. The salon should remain a place for exchanging ideas between colleagues.
Use headphones whenever possible.
Define a time when everyone tries to make less noise in the evening: 10pm, 11pm, for example. Lower the volume of music and talk less loudly, to respect everyone’s sleep or simply the desire to be quiet.
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Agree on possible invitations
It’s important to know whether you can invite friends from outside during the day, in the evening, or to sleep over. Clear rules are needed to avoid conflicts. You can agree on a maximum number of guests, or set aside certain days of the week for this purpose.
Encouraging interaction
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Review the rules of life
Many tensions in a community could be avoided with better communication. It’s often the details that, if repeated, will offend and anger certain people. A coat left on the sofa every night, a grilled mackerel that smells too much, a door left open when it should be closed… Most of the time, just discussing it with the person concerned will put things right. Organizing a fortnightly or monthly meeting to discuss life together can be a good way of fostering this communication.
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Organize happy rendezvous
Rituals such as the Friday aperitif, the monthly themed meal or the series en furie evening are the best way to get to know each other better and create a bond! It’s important to set dates well in advance so that everyone can get organized and attend. Of course, there’s no question of forcing anyone to take part, but in a very natural way these little events can only strengthen bonds and contribute to the happiness of your community.
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Rely on a Chief Happiness Officer
In larger communities, it is possible to benefit from the services of a Chief Happiness Officer, responsible for spreading good cheer, encouraging contact and making everyone feel at ease within the community.